Top qualities of a good friend
When was the last time you took a long hard look at your current circle of friends?
In our early 20's, it's normal to be on the post-college high and feel like the people you've been with the last 4 years will be in your life forever.
I'm not saying that you're wrong, but I do want you to realize that friendships are not transactional and not everyone has the capacity to be a good friend.
You are going to encounter toxic friendships that no longer serve this season of your life, as we talk about in this podcast episode titled “Top Qualities of a Good Friend”.
Here you’ll be able to listen even deeper on the characteristics you should look for in a good friend.
There are top 5 qualities of a good friend that you should look in your friends when you think of longevity.
These are the top 5 qualities of a good friend you should look for :
1. Your Ultimate Cheerleader
Does your friend cheer you on and motivate you to want to be the best possible version of yourself? Or do they at least seem happy when good things happen to you?
Jealousy and envy are sneaky traits that are usually noticeable. You want to make sure your friends are able to truly be happy for you and cheer you on.
This is one of the qualities that you will be able to see early on. Sometimes we miss it because we're so deep into our own happiness that we don't realize those no longer on our team.
2. Flexibility
As a recovering controller, I can tell you that I was not a flexible friend in the past. If it wasn’t my way, it was the HIGHWAY.
I had such a horrible view of how things should play out. I basically set myself up for disappointment constantly.
You want to make sure that your good friends are flexible with change because, it’s only human to want to evolve. Can your friends accept your changes? If not, then are they really a good friend?
3. You Can Trust Them
Can you trust this good friend with valuable information? As a recovering gossiper, yes – that was me! I can tell you that I’ve learned how much privacy should be valued. I didn’t understand it in my early 20’s.
But, as I built up my home I realized that being able to trust someone with information is crucial. Privacy became my new norm. I didn’t tell anyone ANYTHING.
And that probably took it to the extreme, but I learned a lot during that time. A good friend should be able to take something private I’m sharing with them and choose to be there for me and advise me rather than spread my dirty laundry.
4. They Bring You Joy
Yes, I said it – do they make you happy? And by making you happy, I don’t mean that they must be your entire world.
I mean are they a drag to be around? Are they hard to read? Are they always in a bad mood? Do they SUCK the life out of you? Do they spend their time just complaining?
Good friends feel really good to be around. It's their best quality to be quite honest. You're attracted to their energy and they don't dim the room.
But if their heaviness walks into a room with them, then realize that this spirit is of someone who needs space to grow and reflect in areas they haven’t tapped into yet.
You’re not meant to be everyone’s savior – they have social workers and therapists for that.
5. Good Friends Respect Your Boundaries
Do they respect your choices and boundaries as a person, parent, employee, owner of anything, etc? Or do they want to be involved in EVERY single decision that you have to make and need to have a say in it?
That’s not called being a friend, that’s called being nosey.
Yup, it’s someone wanting the authority to be all up in your business and feeling that they can take up residence in your mind, body and soul. Um, that’s a definite no.
Make Some Decisions
It will take time and patience to first discern these traits in the folks around you.
And understandably, it can be difficult to prune these people out of your lives – especially if they’ve been in it for over a decade however; the goal is to start to make some decisions.
Take an audit of your circle and figure out if this is the tribe for you.
You need to do what is best for you and your future.
You need to set the framework for your foundation. You deserve this and so does your future.
If you're ready to work with a coach in this season of your life to prune from relationships that no longer serve you, then book a sales call with me here to work together in my 1:1 private coaching program.
