116. 2024: How God Showed Up Pt 2: Marriage & Family
Meet the Host
Five years ago, after achieving my degrees and teaching as a professor, I was feeling proud that I had checked everything off my life list. But, I wasn’t satisfied in my marriage.
Today, I’m a relationship coach on a mission to resurrect the side of you that got lost in your relationship and responsibilities teaching you how to stop arguing and have more sex. Millions of people around the world soak up my content for advice on how to have a more satisfying relationship.
Welcome to our new podcast series - 2024: How God Showed Up. In this 3 part series I discuss the ways God showed up for me in 2024 in different areas of my life.
In Part 2, I list all the things that my husband and I went through this year where God needed to show up.
I share how God showed up in our parenting, our finances, friendship, and risk taking.
This year was probably the biggest year we’ve had to fight the enemy, and we continue to do so.
Click the link to listen below and email me back with your thoughts, I want to hear from you!
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Episode Transcript:
Karina: Amigos, welcome back to Relationships. You Understand? with me, your host, Karina F. Daves, relationship expert, speaker, and podcast host of this podcast as we continue our series, How God Showed Up in 2024. This part is dedicated to my marriage. And so what I want to share with you in this series is really how God showed up in three different, really important ways in my life. So last episode was focused on my business and my career. And I shared with you some of the issues that I had in those areas and how God showed up to overcome it. And this part, I'm going to share with you some of the things that happened in my marriage this year and how God showed up. And so I'm just going to list them. I'm going to list all the things that we went through this year that Terrence and I really went through this year that God needed to show up.
So here goes, in my marriage we really had a year when it came to parenting. I don't know what it is about having a 5 year old, a 9 year old, a 16 year old, and an 18 year old, well, soon to be 16. But everybody is in such a different stage and requires such a different type of parenting that I think. This was the year where Terrence and I were forced to become aligned and I remember he was in the kitchen and I forgot what our 9 year old said. But whatever my reaction was made it seem like I was siding with my 9 year old rather than Terrence. And so when TJ left, my husband was kind of like, listen, like, we have to be on the same page. We have to show up as a united front. like, even if you don't agree with me in the moment, you got to pull me aside after and we got to talk about it. And then maybe we can go back to the kid, but like, we can't show a non united front during those moments.
And that was hard for me. remember being a bit stubborn, like, no, you're taking it the wrong way. And then realizing that, I know what he was talking about, especially being the father in the situation. And so I would say that parenting was was one way that definitely God showed up and forced us to become United Front.
I would say our financial goals became extremely clear this year. And so we decided that moving forward, we weren't just necessarily going to be saving for an emergency, but we really wanted to save for property and not necessarily an investment properly, which would be smart, but property for in another country that we could live in and whatever the case is. And so we started saving for that. And it was interesting because these really aren't financial goals that we talked about when we first got married. We were also 24. So our financial goals when we first got married were to survive.
And I think this year in our in our 12th year and God really challenged us to become aligned and I remember at the beginning of 2024 the Lord really said I need you to steward your money better. I need you to steward your money better and I would say that another thing that was Eye-opening this year when it came to our marriage was that we realized how good of friends we are and so we're really great marriage managers, which means that we really work well together. But we also realize that we actually really like each other and that's really important. And I think for me, it took a lot of believing Terrence when he would share with me that perhaps my anxiety was taking over a situation or perhaps my spirit of control was taking over a situation. I really had to do a lot of soul searching this year and realize that like if I trust my husband then I should trust the things that he's telling me that he sees that I may be missing the mark on and that was hard because I am stubborn another big thing that we did this year was we gained a lot of respect for each other's craft and so I would say that like 2024 was probably the biggest year where I really, not like understood race car driving, but like I had such an appreciation for it. Whereas before I was just like, yay, good for you. Like cheering him on and so happy. Whereas this year I dove a little bit deeper and understood the mechanics of what he does and was like, dang, that is really hard. Like what you do I think is dumb. I'm sorry. I'm always going to say it because I just don't understand how somebody could risk their life. But it's what he's passionate about.
But this year I was like, dang, like it takes a lot of like mental work to do what you do to build these race cars, to ride these race cars. Like this is weird. Like this is a lot. And I think for him, you know, I think this year was probably the year that I heard him say the most. You work so hard. You work so hard. You work so hard. And I gave him permission this year to tell me to stop working. And I needed that. I needed somebody else who I trusted to tell me to stop. I didn't like it all the time, but it happened. And so when it comes to our marriage, I think that this was probably the year where we also took the biggest risks, where we decided that, you know, we're going to buy property elsewhere. We're going to, you know, you know, no longer aim for seven seconds. He's not going for four seconds.
You know, I'm going to take a risk in my business. I did take a risk in my business, you know, with the kids. Like it was just such a fruitful year for our marriage. And I just want to share something that you would not expect, which is this year, I think for our marriage was probably the biggest year we've had to fight the enemy and continue to do so. And how it showed up is that we probably argued if not two weekends every month, almost every weekend.
And it wasn't like a crazy argument. It would be like tips. And I was we were tired of it. Like I remember at the tail end of it, I was like, I think we should just bet. I bet you a thousand dollars that if you start the argument, you owe me a thousand dollars. If I started you, I owe you a thousand dollars because it just got to the point where like we both looked at each other and we're like, the stuff that we're even talking about is stupid. And a lot of it was a misunderstanding. And then also, there was a deep understanding of, you know, I there were moments where like I didn't feel full at capacity with work and traveling and the business and my kids. And so I was on edge and then Terrence had some health conditions, so he didn't also feel at capacity. And so having to acknowledge each other and have so much grace for each other was important this year. So that, say, was how God showed up.
And I think that one of the biggest revelations we had at the end of this year about our marriage was that, of course, of course we argue, of course we don't feel united on certain things because that's the plot of the enemy. And I remember, I don't know if this was last two weeks ago when we went to go see Kevin Hart or Kate Renata, we looked at each other and we're like, yo, it makes so much sense that we argue. It makes so much sense that we butt heads because that's the, that's the the plan of the enemy to divide us because we're so strong. And I think after that conversation, it was in the space of like, dang, that is probably why. All right, well, we got to beat this out. We also had a lot of conversations with our kids about our marriage in the sense of like, what do you see? And it was beautiful to listen to our kids describe our love, describe our affection, describe how we talk to each other, describe date nights describe gifting, like they they were very observant and one thing I just want to share with you is like your kids are watching the love that you're showing them play out live, right? So be mindful of that. Okay.
Let me pray for your marriage. Okay Father God, I thank you so much for this day and I pray for anybody listening right now that is either married or in a long-term relationship father God I pray over their unity. I pray that that they just remain united and Lord if it doesn't work out, pray, I pray such a deep unification with you. I pray that even though the person may no longer be united with their ex or whatever the case is, that they become united with you, that you thread them back in to a relationship with you. I love you so much, God. In your name we pray, Amen.
